My loving people, we have been persuaded by some, that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit ourselves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery; but I assure you, I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people.

Pass me that pie

We are not in China

One Club, One Vision

An ordinary bloke trying to make good without ever losing the air of a fellow with a hangover.

Shane Warne's idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand.

I'm completely different from Pietersen. He would turn up to the opening of an envelope.

The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding.

Are you going to get out or do I have to come round the wicket and kill you?

The mincing run-up resembles someone in high heels and a panty girdle chasing after a bus.